Tuesday, May 24, 2011


I've been doing really well with the snacks.  I haven't missed a day, even when I had something heavy for lunch like pizza.  But I'm trying to listen to my body and eat my snack when I'm hungry, not at a set time.  So today I had it early and felt mostly okay with that.  I'm a bit nervous that now I'll be hungry before dinner but we'll see.  I know, if I'm hungry again have another snack, right?  If only it was that simple in my head!

The annoying thing is that I feel like all I do at work now is eat.  Seriously, I just ate my snack and I felt like I'd barely even finished lunch.  And it seems like I'm cramming an insane amount of food into my bag in the mornings.  I just stare it wondering if I really need to eat all this but the answer is yes.  The nighttime sugar binges have stopped and I feel less destroyed when I get off the train.  Of course I've also had these crazy night sweats but I'm not sure if that's related since it's not like I added in that many calories.  It could also be my cat's newfound love of sleeping draped over me at night.  If it is related I'm sure it'll even back out.

Of course I do like that I'm working on this now, when I only have a couple months left at this job.  And then I'll completely throw off my schedule being unemployed.  But at least I'll have gotten into good eating habits that hopefully will carry over into my next job.

In other news we had a big party on Sunday (20+ people over for most of the day) and I was reminded of how much I hate crowds after a while and value my space.  After about 7 hours I escaped upstairs to my bedroom on the guise of comforting my cats who were cowering under the bed.  I climbed under an afghan and would have stayed there until everyone left but my boyfriend begged for my help to kick everyone out.  I just get overwhelmed eventually.  It's too much noise and too many people doing things like throwing their trash into my recycling bin.  (Seriously?  In California you see a can filled with bottles and cardboard and you throw garbage in there? Really?)  I have to try really hard to not trail behind people straightening the picture frames they move and the more people who are in a conversation the harder it gets for me to chime in.  What can I say?  I'm a little neurotic sometimes.

But it's good for me to have these exposures.  If it wasn't for the boyfriend I would lock myself in the house alone most of the time, after working by myself all day at my job.  But he likes to be social.  Very social.  Last year when I was visiting my best friend in Chicago my boyfriend at home was busier with plans than I was on vacation.  I have made some wonderful friends though through him and every time I see that nothing terrible happens from all these people being in my house I think I relax a little more.  I'll never be someone to seek out plans for the most part but I'd be really bored if I never did anything.